Teaching in the Twilight Zone

If I end up teaching another Freshman Composition course, it will be because I have failed to land a part-time job in a coffee shop.

Come September, I have been telling myself for several months now, I will start looking for work.

After scrolling through about a hundred job postings this morning, I'm beginning to realize that I have a somewhat unconventional idea of what constitutes a job – even in a city that's famously been touted as “the place where young people go to retire.”

Job = an excuse to get out of the house and interact with people somewhere other than the playground.

Job = an opportunity to try something new without having to pay for that privilege.

Oh, yeah, and no commuting, please. Walking distance from my apartment would be perfect.

That's not asking too much, is it?

But there was only one listing that met my criteria, and I didn't meet theirs. Cravin Raven Bakery has a $10/hour position open, but they want someone with “extensive experience” doing “production baking in a commercial kitchen” – or, failing that, someone who's recently graduated from a culinary program.

Pat it, roll it, mark it with an 'X'...

On the other hand, there are continuous openings for part-time composition instructors at Portland Community College.

And do you know WHY there are continuous openings?

Because Freshman Composition is the Twilight Zone of academia.